Allow yourself to love money.
Let’s talk about money. [GASP! Girl, it’s rude to talk about money.] Well, I’m going to do it anyway. Money is like the elephant in the room that everyone thinks about but nobody dares discuss.
Come on out, Dumbo.
Let me begin by saying that one of the most complex relationships I have is with money and to be frank I’m only recently realizing just how complicated that relationship really has been. My financial conditioning – as I like to call it – comes from being raised to believe that being a good person and having a want for money are at opposite ends.
I’m happy to report that I have been able to get over much of what my financial conditioning taught me. Still, it hasn’t been easy. I’ve had to break up with multiple established patterns of thought caused by hearing some things that sound like this:
- Money isn’t important and wanting money means you are greedy. You’re devilish!
- Money is the root of all evil.
- Pursuing money means you are vain. Vanity is a sin.
- If you want to be rich, you better get ready to lose something else in your life. What you sacrifice for wealth is love, peace, and happy holidays with your family.
- People who are rich experience an unfortunate fate.
- God AND money can’t both occupy your heart.
- Entrepreneurship and wealth is a man’s game – it’s not safe for nice girls.
Writing those things down is hard because it really makes me realize how completely ridiculous they sound. Money is amazing! You, me, everyone deserves to be wealthy. We deserve to reach for the top, to chase dreams, to invent, to charge for the value we feel we add, to build empires, to go on the vacations, and even to want the car.
Unfortunately, many of us won’t express our desires or really go for the cash. This is because we hear those negative statements about money and somewhere along the line someone we know validates them. Someone does forego everything for money, someone does lose it all, someone does lose their spiritual path. Boom! Belief validated. Fear established. So, we take the desire for wealth and bury it deep in the treasure chest labeled “not to be discussed” where all taboo things go.
But what happens when we don’t talk about money? Well, here’s just one way it might play out:
- We don’t get a financial education. A lack of financial education results in debt. Debt results in a poor credit score. A poor credit score results in an inability to make long-term investments like purchasing real estate.
- Because the above happens we label wealth and money as difficult. Money is so difficult that only the elite can have it. We establish that the old adage is true – the rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer.
- We don’t get richer because we believe only the rich can get richer. We work the job we dread. We make a salary we feel is unfair, but we won’t ask for more money because we never learned to have the confidence to talk about money. We never learned to talk about money because money is a taboo. And now we’re stuck in the vicious cycle.
This cycle can only be broken when we bring money back out into the spotlight and give it the love it deserves. Let’s stop the madness! Let’s begin here:
- Let’s admit that money is amazing. Let’s admit that desiring the good things in life (whatever that means to you) is really fantastic. Let’s stop assuming that people who have money aren’t humble. Let’s stop assuming that people who are wealthy don’t love God or don’t have a good spiritual base. God, spirituality, and goodness can exist in the same place as money (see #4 below).
- Stop associating money with potential misfortune. Start by understanding that it’s not the money itself that creates misfortunes. Misfortune usually follows wealth when the person receiving the wealth isn’t prepared to deal with the power that wealth brings. Many, many times the moral compass on these individuals was already a bit damaged and wealth simply tipped the scale.
- Learn to differentiate between wealth and greed. Greed is when someone else has to starve so you and you alone can eat. Wealth is when you can eat AND feed others.
- Let’s agree that money is not the root of evil. Can we please stop saying this?! Money can be a source of tremendous goodness. With money we can help others in incredible ways. If something can positively help us help our fellow brothers and sisters, how can it be against God’s desires for us all?
- Go out and get a financial education! I can’t stress this enough. We need to immerse ourselves in financial knowledge. The internet is ripe with financial education. Let’s talk the lingo, let’s know the details! Let’s take the time to teach our kids, our communities, and our own families about money, credit scores, 401Ks, real estate investments, entrepreneurship, passive income, etc.
Start with even just one of these re-wiring tips. You’ll begin to teach your brain to make a positive connection between your heart and your financial desires.
I wish you luck in your search for wealth. We’ve got this!